Today is a Blah day

I said earlier that I've been having good constants with bad moments every once in a while - which is really a relief from the opposite situation. 

I'm having one of those blah moments today though. I had another nightmare last night and it just has me in the strangest mood. 

My heart is tired. And my insides feel a little lonely.  

and I know that you had a hard weekend. And normally I would feel a little vindicated and hope that hard weekend made you miss me more and feel stupid for not having me there to support you. 

But I don't feel that way. 

I just feel sad for you. And sad for us. 

We were thinking about getting married this weekend while you had a break. Isn't that weird? Instead we will both be going on dates with strangers, pretending like we are normal.

Not that I would change it. I'm glad we aren't getting married. It's just a really sad story. 

That's all.

And by the way - I am normal. I just have not normal moments like this one. How nice that they are simply moments. I don't think you are there yet. I don't think you'll be there for a long time, actually.

I'm going to make a new playlist to get me out of this funk. Any suggestions? I need fun songs that I can dance to in my car while I drive to work.

Thanks.

-Kristina