Literally on Cloud 9

I am about to write another post that gives you all a complex. Sorry. I was going to link to my previous posts that have done the same thing, but I didn't want to go overboard with the guilt.

(Sidenote: Calee and I talked about the possiblity of blogging this, and I asked if I should be worried about people getting a complex about it. She said no but I should be worried about looking like a B. ....Hm. My mind didn't even go there. Don't judge, people. It's all in good fun. Fun = mocking your habits that you're unaware of. Didn't you know that?)

Oh my goodness. I wanted to post a funny video right here to show what I'm talking about, but it just proved my flipping point for me. I put "literally" into youtube hoping for a silly snl or madtv skit about the ridiculous overuse of the word - and there came up about a MILLION listings. How many of them used the word correctly? Not many. 

Which brings me to my next point. 

I CAN'T HANDLE WHEN PEOPLE SAY LITERALLY WHEN THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T MEAN LITERALLY. I just really can't. It makes me twitch. I told Calee about it a month or so ago and she just rolled her eyes and told me I was elitest and that it doesn't happen that often. But now that she's aware of it?? We hear it all the time together and she laughs at me while I fall into convulsions on the floor because my brain can't take it anymore. Literally. (See what I'm saying? It's annoying right?)

Some recent ones I've heard -

On the news: We are literally moving heaven and earth down here to find out...

Oh really? Literally moving heaven and earth? Wow. That must be some pretty intense equipment down there.

In an email: She was literally on cloud 9 after...

I sent this one to Calee and her response was, "Maybe she was standing atop a Cloud9 shuttle after the lesson? Literally."

Oh, Calee. You are a B, too.

Calee in the car (this one was a joke but still annoying): I was literally dancing up a storm.

She then laughed and pictured herself dancing and a storm being created. However if you were literally dancing up a storm, you would be moving vertically while boogying into the storm's abyss. That is literally dancing up a storm.

I can't even give you more examples because I am getting so cranky right now thinking about it. I've decided I'm going to start saying "metaphorically" or "figuratively" all the time. Just so people realize there are other adverbs out there that can be used in a more appropriate manner. Or hey, maybe you just don't say an adverb? Weird.

I'm going to go eat some chocolate or something to help with my frustration.

-Kristina

P.s. Who honestly doesn't like chocolate? I owe somebody brownies and asked if I could make these divine chocolate cupcakes instead with my mom's mouth-watering frosting. The answer? "Eh. I don't really like chocolate. Only milky ways and three musketeers and brownies. I don't know, I guess when I'm craving something sweet I want like a really good orange or something."

... WOW, really??? I can't even process that statement. It's like the Brian Regan sketch where he's reading the pop tart label and it tells him to place it vertically into the toaster and his brain explodes from the difficulty of it. That's how I felt. There must have been some kind of brainwashing involved during childhood; it's the only explanation I can think of. It's a sick, sick world we live in, people. Go hug your chocolate.

Holding Hands

I've been thinking a lot about the comforting ability of hands. I know that sounds weird but hear me out. I've had some awkward or uncomfortable situations lately, or even just moments of stress and panic. It's been interesting for me (especially since I've been thinking about it so much) to notice how my spirit can be calmed with just the touch of a hand.

Examples from lately?

I had a really heartbreaking conversation with someone really close to me last week. We looked at each other with tears and he put his hand on my cheek. I immediately felt understanding and kindness in the midst of a difficult situation.

At Nikki's house this weekend, I was jumping on the trampoline with the two sweetest little girls you will ever meet. Ryah bear got a little spooked at a particularly big jump, and her scared face was the cutest thing I've ever seen. In her moment of pure terror, she reached her hand out to me and I reached right back and saved her from falling on her face. She squeezed my hand hard and looked up at me to laugh once she realized everything was okay. I thought I would burst right then from how sweet and tender the little moment was.

I went to visit a friend at school and felt a little bit awkward since it was his element and not mine. I was surrounded by lots of strange faces and felt a little worried about what was going to happen. He reached down for my hand to lead me through the people, and I felt safe and secure and even a little silly for being so nervous.

Driving in the car tonight, there was a little silent moment that normally wouldn't be a big deal, but with my insecure and stressed brain right now everything gets blown out of proportion. I was starting to feel worried when he reached his hand across the seat and rubbed my knee for a minute. All of my stupid, misplaced worry went right out the window and I felt security and peace again.

See what I mean? It's cool. And it makes me think a lot about Jesus Christ and His pierced hands, and how they are the ultimate source of comfort and love.

I looked up "hands" on lds.org tonight and found this gem - it is so so fitting with my life right now. I love it.

The Lord Thy God Will Hold Thy Hand

The Savior's figurative and literal hands are where I need to place my trust. I have no reason to worry or stress, because ultimately He is in control. I have so many more experiences where I have felt total comfort, love, and protection from Him - just like those stories above. (Okay not just like. But you know what I'm saying.)

How grateful I am during stressful times like this to know that I am a part of a plan. A plan created by someone much more powerful and wise than myself - thank heavens. My plans definitely have not been the best ones so far. I know He is guiding me, slowly but surely, with His loving, broken, gentle hands.

I hope you read the article. It's a good one.

-Kristina

No Subject

We are going to Sacramento today and I am really glad. I need a sisters weekend, definitely. It's been a super emotionally draining week. I know we are always light and silly on here lately, but don't you remember the good old days of my depressed posts? I feel a bit that way today.

I don't really have anything to say other than that. Send me a nice text, will ya? I could use it.

-Kristina

Playlist

I'm currently listening to music. And it is making me very happy. I humbly suggest the following playlist to perk you (and your co-workers) up. Dancing around the office is strongly suggested. Strongly.

Mr. Roboto (Styx) <--I recommend putting this one on repeat. DDR.
Come Sail Away (Styx)
Walking on the Sun (Smashmouth) *Don't judge!*
Don't Stop Me Now (Queen)
Fat Bottomed Girls (Queen) <-- might want to close the office for this one. worth it.
Big Girl, You are Beautiful (Mika) <--while the office is closed.
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic (Police)
Billie Jean (MJ)
Can't Touch This (MC Hammer)
Paradise City (Guns N' Roses)
Holding Out for a Hero (Frou Frou)
Cold As Ice (Foreigner)
Friday I'm in Love (The Cure)
Hungy Like the Wolf (Duran Duran)

Add anything from your Sin Bandera collection and you're golden. Is this list cheesy? Yes. Is it completely appropriate for the office environment? It depends, I guess, on what industry you're in and who your co-workers are.

My co-worker just walked in on me doing the robot to Mr. Roboto. He told me Styx jumped the shark on that song. I told him I'd light him on fire if he ever bad mouthed Styx again.

Repeat is a beautiful thing.

Loves, Calee

P.S. I've got a secret that I've been hiding. It's under my skin.

This stuff really happens to me

I went to dog beach today with Jacob and Tucker. It was honestly the perfect day as far as the weather goes. So gorgeous. Don't worry that I got absolutely NO sun for some reason. My skin looks the exact same as it did yesterday. Bleh.

Those of you who have dogs know that when you go to a dog park or dog beach or some other dog gathering (like there are a lot of them?), you make friends with really random people. Usually you know all of the dogs' names and none of the people's names. Like "Oh! Molly's mom told me the cutest story the other day..."

It's weird. And I'm one of those people.

Today was no different. I met another Tucker and his mom, and we had a good laugh over the dogs getting confused at who was being called when. Then a boy starts asking me about Tuck (who wouldn't? He is seriously so adorable) and starts telling me about his puppy. We get through all of the normal dog questions and to the point where we normally would just sit and laugh at how cute our pets are, when things took a turn for the worse.

"So, uh, do you go to school around here?"

Oh jeez. Good line. I'm actually here with that cute boy surfing out there and totally uninterested in talking with you about anything other than your dog. Oh wait, I'm still inside my head at this point. Guess I better answer your question.

"Nope, I'm actually done with school."

I enjoyed his look of disbelief for a short moment, because it still to this day makes me a little tingly inside that I'm done with my BA. That tingly feeling immediately vanished with his next comment.

"Wait...you're already done with high school?!"

........................... WOW.

"Uh. College, actually."

....

We stopped talking.


Yep. Really happened.


-Kristina

I'm blogging over Calee right now

and I totally know it. The worst part is that I don't even really have anything to say, but I'm doing it anyway. Oops. 

I really like boys who know more about music than I do. 

Scratch that - I actually just think I really like boys who know more than me in general. Ha ha. I almost made a joke about that being impossible but then erased it so I don't look like a self-obsessed freak. But then I just retyped that so we all could see how humble I am. Not sure who wins, there.

I thought that I typed "ha ha" with a space because my phone made it hard to do it without a space. But if that is true, then why do I write it like that on this blog? A lot? Perhaps it's time to admit that I just like writing it like that and making people read it to themselves like they are the caterpillar in Alice and Wonderland. 

Also - we should put a little thing on the side of this blog that lets people read either all of Calee's stuff or all of my stuff. But I don't know how to do that. And heaven knows Calee won't do it. She just figured out how to work the dashboard of Blogger. Thus, the awkwardly placed Nat the Rat button to my right, on top of any of our profile info.

You know how they say good girls like bad boys? I used to think that was true about me, too. And when I say 'used to' I mean 'yesterday'. Turns out my rockin hot bad boy is actually not bad at all. Pretty squeaky clean, actually. Totally not disappointed about it, either.

Okay, wow. I am in a really odd mood and need to stop this before anything more ridiculous comes out of my brain. 

Sorry Calee for blogging over you. (Shaking head no while I type that.)

-Kristina

Dear Self:

You are very silly.

Very, very silly indeed.

Love, Calee

p.s. The people at Google have an incredibly sneaky operating procedure in place for anyone looking to buy the Nexus One. It goes a little something like this: Make it virtually impossible for anyone to get it at the discounted rate, frustrate them with long hold waits, underinformed customer service representatives, and conflicting policies. With any luck, anyone trying to purchase it will just get irritated enough to purchase it at the retail rate! Weee!

Not me, though. I take frustration like a champ. BRING IT.

Well, kind of. I'll let you know on Friday.

Wow.

I wish I could give full details of my dating life on here so you could all laugh along with how silly it all is. And post pictures, so you could drool over the hottie mc hotties that have strolled into my life lately. And divulge all of the details of the several incredibly awkward situations I've found myself in, so you can smile and shake your head as you hold your baby on your lap and thank your lucky stars that you're not me. Ha ha.

Oh well, too bad.

Maybe just a little taste:

Yesterday I'm leaving church with Calee. As we're walking, we see Hot Girl run into Hot Boy's arms for a little parking lot rendezvous. Hot Boy happens to be the same boy I was out with the night before.

It was like a slow motion scene of awkwardness.

Cherry on top? He sees us, looking over her shoulder as she's clinging to him like a flippin wetsuit. A side-wave, and a half-hearted "hey guys" to the two of us completes the picture.



.... kill me.


Where do I sign up for a mission, again?

-kristina

What happened??

When did my posts stop being so funny and witty and entertaining?? I've been sitting at work going through old posts and I really feel as though we've reached a sad state of affairs on this blog. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just not as clever and saucy as I was six months ago. And YOU, poor readers, are the ones who are suffering (...assuming, that is, that anyone still reads this blog...). Horror!

I would like to make a promise that I will do everything I can to achieve once more my sassy blogging status. Are you excited? Do you love it? Did you say, "Billy, I love you?" Movie trivia.

P.S. Last week the fam sat around having a nice little convo about whatever, and the conversation turned to perfumes. Nikki, apparently, wears the new Ed Hardy fragrance. (Go ahead. Judge. I know I did.) Sam asked me what I wear while I was busy stuffing my face with crackers and mustard and slices of ham (mmmmm!!!!!!!). Instead of swallowing and trying to speak like a normal person, I rushed to say "Viva la Juicy" with my mouth full. To my chagrin, however, "Viva la Juicy" is NOT what came out.

I informed everyone within hearing distance that I wear "Viva la Douchey"! Haha!! And when I rushed to correct myself and say it properly?? ...Yeah, I said it again, only the second time MUCH louder. I think I kind of screamed it, actually. Awesome. Just thought I'd share.

Have a good weekend :)

Peas in a pod. Sort of. And a phone.

Tucker loves Shaun. Shaun loves Tucker. This is Shaun stuffing Tucker up his shirt to experience what being pregnant might feel like. Tucker was so comfy, he didn't want to come out! Not even poke his little puppy head out. He just sat there like a little lump, content to be snuggled in a rather suffocating way.

Tucker was rather disgruntled over being forced to stick his head out of his warm cuddle spot for a picture.

Friends, you've all been very good sports over my poopy-quality BlackBerry photos. I have wonderful news for you all!!

THIS BABY:

will be taking my camera phone pictures from now on

...well, starting next week...

::hopefully::

I'll fill you all in as soon as I get my hands on my new Nexus One!! WOOO!!

loves - Calee

PROOF

That I am a grandma.

In addition to this lovely non-matching masterpiece, I'm also making a baby blanket for a friend's baby shower this weekend. Just in case it turns out hideous and I have to purchase something to replace it with I won't say who that friend is. Of course, I don't have that many friends so it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out if you really wanted to...and if that sounds like something fun you'd like to spend time doing, I'd suggest you find a hobby. Like, crocheting large, mismatched, scratchy blankets.

I'm j/k. It's not that scratchy. It just has those little fibers that itch your nose if you cuddle with it too close to your face. I call the blanket pictured above my LOST blanket. That's roughly seasons 1 & 2's worth of crocheting. If you look closely, you can see where it gets tighter in some spots (these are moments like Jack almost cutting off what's-his-name's leg, or the creepy 'Make your own kind of music' montage right before Kate gets eaten by the hatch...ick).

Anyways. Just thought I'd share.

p.s. the "Splash into Me" parody of Dave Matthew's "Crash into Me" (about a bidet) does NOT belong on my ipod's 'Muy Espiritual' mix...

Mr. Postman

My dad came in the house today with a huge pile of mail. Apparently my mom has always been the mail-getter, and since she's been sick that hasn't happened a whole lot lately.

Either way, I never get mail down here. Mainly because I didn't change my address and I'm sure there are a lot of annoyed girls living in my old apartment where all of my (and all of my ex-roommates') stuff shows up. Ha ha. It is a long tradition of no one who ever lived there changing their address when they move. We used to get stuff from people who had lived there as long as ten years before us.

It's part of the secret code. The girls living there now have my permission to not change their address when they move out in April. You're welcome, girls.

Because of this, I was very surprised when my dad threw two huge envelopes on my lap. I'm actually not sure if they qualify as envelopes or packages. Packvelopes of goodness.

The first was very exciting, and something I've been meaning to tell you guys but just haven't gotten around to. I think the Scarlet Fever had something to do with that.

Excuse the poor quality photo. My excitement made me shake a little bit and so it's fuzzy:

And my new keychain which I am really excited about for some reason:

Woot woot!! That is fun news.

The second Packvelope? Ha ha. You guessed it, loyal blog-readers. The day we have all been waiting for is finally here. It's a few copies of the March 2010 New Era, of which I am a proud contributor. And when I say proud I mean, I was too embarrassed to send a picture in to go along with the silly, ridiculous article I wrote when I was 12. (See history of this by clicking here.)

I didn't even sign the paperwork and send it back in because I was so embarrassed. Turns out they published it anyway. It's just that good, guys.

Not.

Just in case you missed the name though, I got a close up.

Ohhh what a silly day. I wonder what the mailman will bring tomorrow?

-Kristina

Chelsea King

Unless you're living in San Diego, I don't know if you've heard much about Chelsea King. We have all been glued to the news the last few days, waiting for updates on this missing high schooler from down here, and it's just been on my mind so much that I wanted to interrupt our silly posts with some reality for a minute.

Here's an update, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about:

Huge community search effort hits sad end

My mom's group, Children's Chorus, is based in RB/Poway and meets Thursday afternoons at the RB Rec Center. We've been going there for years, now, every single Thursday. We started getting/forwarding emails and calls as early as Thursday night with pictures and details, asking anyone who remembers anything to call the police immediately.

Knowing her car was right in that parking lot that I've parked in every week, and that she was involved in so many of the same things my friends and I were involved in during high school - this hit so close to home. Watching the community rally together in love and support for the Kings has been so incredible, but so sad at the same time. I can't get her sweet face out of my mind, and everyone down here has felt the heaviness in the air as the search continued.

I honestly can't even fathom what her family is going through right now, or the terror that poor Chelsea felt when she realized what was happening to her. My heart has had one continuous prayer for the sweet girl and her family this whole week.

Is it just me or does it seem like this kind of thing happens WAY too often in San Diego? It's such a devastating story with the worst possible ending.

Blah. I don't even know what the purpose of this post is. I guess that I would hope that we can all take the time to say a prayer for her family and the detectives/FBI. I hope we can hug our families a little tighter and feel grateful for the sun on our faces and the breath in our lungs.

Most of us have grown up living with a feeling of total safety and stability, and situations like this totally shake our foundations. But most people in the world haven't grown up feeling that way - they are very familiar with feeling danger and uncertainty. We are so blessed.

May the Lord's spirit bring comfort to sweet Chelsea's family during this impossible time. He's the only one who can help at this point. Nobody deserves what they are going through right now.

Rest in peace, Chelsea King. You deserve better than this evil world.

P.S.

Want to know what food I'm NOT allergic to?

YOGURT COVERED PRETZELS.

I can't express the will power it took for me to actually take this picture prior to gobbling this pretzel up. Notice how it's the last one...in a bag which may or may not have been 1 lb when purchased initially...and my stomach may or may not hurt...a lot...

AN EQUATION:

YOGURT COVERED PRETZELS

+

SITTING IN MY OFFICE CHAIR ALL DAY

=

MY BUM
FEELING LIKE THIS:

Mm mm...is it lunch time yet?

loves, Calee

Saucy

I have a certain niece named Bubba.

Bubba is a very nice baby who has some very nasty food allergies. As in, you name it, she's allergic to it. She's started to grow out of some of them...but the mental scarring they've caused remains. I present for your consideration, Exhibit A:

NOTE: Sweet Bubba munching on a cinnamon twist. Normal, right?

Exhibit B:

Note: Because she's never been allowed to dip vegetables, chicken nuggets, etc...in normal sauces (like, Ranch = allergic), she thinks it's a good idea to dip things into other 'sauces' (like, vegetables in ketchup -gag-, or cinnamon twists into her water). Mmm mm delicious.

Exhibit C:

Note: We've moved on to pizza now, and mmmmboy...it's sure tasty dipped in Sprite!

(for anyone who is saying to themselves that their kids/cousins/nieces/nephews dip their food into weird things, too, then congrats! Bubba and your kids can be strange together.)

Exhibit D:

Note: Sprite + Pizza = delicious.

Exhibit E:

Sweet Bubba, the least picky sauce-picker in the world.