Light at the end of the tunnel...

Having your first baby is hard. One of the toughest parts? Not having any experience/anything to compare your child to. I've read the books about how to get your baby to sleep, I've tried all the tips. I thought maybe I was just a failure and my baby screamed all day and night because I was a bad mom :(

Turns out my baby has some serious tummy problems. I didn't know that's not how normal babies acted, because I've never had a baby before! All the advice and info in books and blogs wasn't working for my baby because my baby was in pain. So sad :(

Violet has reflux. For any mom out there who's baby screams while eating, or after eating, arches their back, wheezes/coughs/gags a lot, and spits up like crazy: LOOK INTO REFLUX. One little pill a day helps *TONS*. Even if your baby ISN'T spitting up, but has the other symptoms - look into it! There's a reflux called 'silent reflux' where the baby doesn't spit up tons, but still feels the burn!

Violet also has digestion issues. The pediatricians have told us her little system still needs to mature a bit...

At the beginning of her seventh week, we took her to see a chiropractor who specializes in allergy testing (called NAET). We had her on the reflux meds already, on special pre-digested formula, were taking her every few days to get foot-zoned, etc...That afternoon she went a few hours without screaming! It was a miracle. That Sunday she slept and we made it through all three hours of church - a FIRST for us since she was born.

She started having happy awake time! It wasn't much, but it was a massive improvement over constant fussiness and never ending hysterical fits.

We took her to get her 2 month shots the next week and told the doctor she was still struggling. He said he suspected a condition called 'delayed gastric emptying', which is common when an infant has GERD (reflux). I had read about it before and I had thought that, too. It would explain why she always pushes and grunts and fidgets and can't ever pass gas or poop without straining and crying. He prescribed a medicine called Reglan.

I had read about Reglan before and the side effects terrified me. I understand why people put their infants on it (believe me, there were days that I would've risked ANYTHING to have her stop crying!) but since she had started improving ever so slightly, I just couldn't bring myself to give it to her. As a last ditch effort, we switched her from Nutramigen (her fancy pants formula) to Gerber Good Start Gentle (a formula I had read about in online forums for parents who hadn't experienced much success on Nutramigen). I was afraid it was going to mess her tummy up worse, but it was worth a shot before starting her on a new medication.

That night she woke up every two hours to eat (like usual), but instead of taking thirty minutes to calm back down and spending every minute listening to her whine and fuss and fidget - she was quiet. She was so quiet, in fact, that I spent the entire night getting up to make sure she was still breathing! She woke up, ate, burped, fell back asleep peacefully. It was astonishing. ASTONISHING.

Don't get me wrong - she still gets belly aches and spends a lot of time cranky and not sleeping well BUT she also has days and nights that she behaves like a normal baby. I can take her out in public. I HAVE NOT HAD HER OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE EVER (because she's so miserable all the time and who likes carting around a screaming child?!). Isn't that amazing!?

So, to recap...If you're a new mom and your baby cries all day and all night:
1. Recognize that it ISN'T normal for your baby to cry that much and it ISN'T your fault!!
2. Look into reflux and how to deal with it.
3. Pay attention to your baby's gas! (Violet NEVER passed gas before we put her on this new formula. I'm not kidding you. I NEVER heard her toot except when she'd poop - and that wasn't that often! - no wonder she was so miserable!!) and consider switching formulas (if you're formula feeding. duh.)
4. Consider NAET testing and foot zoning. I never thought I'd be a believer, but after every gripe water/colic remedy/pill/etc I could get my hands on failed?? those things pulled through.

We're not 100% better, but I think we're on the path to happier times! And, oh...this day couldn't have come soon enough!! Wahooooooooo!

xo.

(PS - remember when Violet was 3 weeks old and she'd wake up, eat, then scream for two hours before screaming herself to sleep, then wake up screaming fifteen minutes later to eat and start the process all over??? 24 hours a DAY?! and how that lasted for WEEKS?! and I didn't know it wasn't normal, so I thought EVERY mother went through it and I was just a weakling for crying hysterically every day out of exhaustion?! oooh yeah...NEVER EVER again. ever. ever ever. bless america.)

Sigh.

It's official: we've tried it all.

Gripe water. Colic Ease. Colic Calm. Simethicone (gas drops). Footzoning. Chiropractor. Allergy testing. Four different kinds of formula - ending on a predigested, fancy shmancy formula that costs a freaking arm and a leg. Essential oils. NEVER putting her flat on her back (she has a special wedge with sling attachment so she's always at an angle, even when we're not holding her [which is hardly ever]). Sleeping her on her belly. Antacids. Frequent burping. Frequent, smaller feedings. Massage. I mean...goodness gracious. The point of ridiculousness has been passed.

Baby girl still fidgets and fusses all night and day long. Sometimes erupting into full-blown hysteria that lasts for who knows how long. It feels like forever. It seems like the only time she's really able to get comfortable is when she's vertical in someone's arms. So...that means sleep is basically out of the question - since HER being comfortable inevitably means you're NOT comfortable. Thank the heavens above we're in Utah now and have relief most mornings after long, sleepless nights holding a crying, squirmy, miserable infant. Family, people. Family = God's greatest gift to our little peanut right now. I was crying every single day before we got here. I've cut back to about every other day now. Improvement.

We've had a couple days where it feels like there might be hope...but she always lapses back into having a hurt tummy/unable to pass gas/hating her life within a couple hours. She really is sweet when she doesn't hurt; unfortunately, that isn't very often :/ Bleh.

We're still going to a foot zoner. We go every few days. We're also planning on continuing with the chiropractor. I mean, her pediatrician(s) have told us they've done all they can do and she'll just have to outgrow it (hopefully).

...umm...outgrow it?!

...are we supposed to all make it alive and/or sane to that point...? because I'm ready to be sent to the loony bin. like, today.

So, we'll continue to see whoever tells us there's still something to be done for her. Poor thing. I hate that she spends so much time so uncomfortable and sad.

I've appreciated ALL your comments, messages, texts, etc...with advice from your experience(s). I can't think of ONE thing that someone has recommended that we haven't tried (and/or are continuing to try). Did I miss something in the first paragraph??? Hit me with it. We'll try it.

Shout out to Melissa for the essential oils! I love them. Leanna - thank you for recommending Dr Hershey. He's awesome. Alisa, Rachel, Amie (and I'm sure at least one other person) - I appreciate your foot zoning suggestions! Erin - thank you for the link to the colic article (it lead me to the wedge we purchased for her to sleep/play on!) Janay & Ainsley - for bringing up your experiences with reflux and suggesting an antacid! At least her reflux isn't bothering her as much anymore! Hallelujah :) I'm positive I'm missing people - it's just because I'm so exhausted, not because it hasn't mattered or been appreciated.

I've gone back and read through all your encouraging messages and comments so many times over these past sleepless weeks. Even just the "you can do it!" ones help. THANK YOU for caring. And for reaching out. And for being kind and compassionate.

I'm still listening. Much, much love from our little family to all of you.

xo -

Pictures!

As much as I'm SURE you'd LOVE for me to regale you with tales of sleepless nights, indigestion, reflux and  screaming babies...I'm just going to post pictures instead :)

These were all taken by Nikki (my sister). Enjoy!

FIRST! Please tell me how cute this little face is?! Holy moly we fell in love immediately.

 Earlier that morning:

 I remember thinking,"I don't look that big. My belly is hardly that big at all!" Haha. 

Looking at this picture I'm thinking,"Wow...no wonder I felt so miserable." :)

 Mom's ring.

Note: I delivered my baby at the same hospital my Mom delivered me at! And the same hospital Nikki had her first baby girl at.Tender.

 I'm laughing to keep myself from crying 

(out of terror knowing we were less than an hour away from having a baby).

 Starting to wonder what on earth I got myself into...SO STRESSED at this point!

 Completely freaking out. Sisters!

Another note: Kristina helped SO MUCH the week after Vi was born. I honestly think I would've had a complete nervous breakdown without her. She's an angel.

 Love this one :)

AAAAANND DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!

Here are the pictures Nikki snapped as I was seeing my baby for the first time!! 

I'm so happy she was there to capture this moment. 

I cry every time I look at them. Such a beautiful dream come true.

Isn't she precious?? I think so.

Ok. Now to get back to being a Mom to a very crabby infant. 

xo.