Monday, April 20, 2009

Maybe you'll like it.

Today I was talking to a... 'friend' (??) who was bummed about work. So I decided to cheer him up. I was so impressed with myself - haha - for coming up with a little story so quickly that I am posting it here for your reading pleasure.

You probably won't think it's that funny, but I thought it was amusing :)

want me to tell you a funny story or a joke?
Once upon a time, there was a dog named...
Flarf was a poodle.
Sometimes other dogs would tease him and call him Barf, and that always made him sad.
One day, Flarf was walking down the street and he found a magic lamp!
he was so excited that he let out a happy yelp!
when he sniffed it, a genie popped out!
"Hey!" said the genie, "You're a dog! I don't grant wishes to dogs..."
"Hi! My name is Flarf," said Flarf.
"...your name is 'Flarf'?..." asked the genie.
"Wow. Maybe you deserve a wish or two, buddy," said the genie.
"Oh that's great!" said Flarf, as he happily wagged his little puffy-poodle tail.
"So..."said the genie,"...what is it that you want?"
"Well..." Flarf thought and thought. 'My life's not so bad', he thought to himself, 'What do I want?'
"I'd like to be named Bob."
"But Flarf if so original," said the genie sarcastically,"wouldn't you rather keep it something different?"
Flarf was convinced. "You're right. I want my name to be Toboggan instead."
The genie just shook his head. "Whatever. It's your name. AbrrrraaacadAAAHBRA!"
Toboggan pranced around happily. "Woo! I love it!"
"Ok, Flar- I mean, Toboggan. What next?" asked the genie.
" about a girlfriend?"
"Yeah," said the genie,"you probably need all the help you can get in that department. Good wish."
'Especially with a name like 'Toboggan'', he thought to himself.
"Girlfriend coming up...abbbbraaaCADABRA!"
and POOF!
There stood a silvery weimeraner in all her shiny glory
"Where the heck am I??" she barked.
"YESSSS! She's HOT." said Toboggan.
"You're Toboggan's new girlfriend," said the genie.
"Who the F is Toboggan??" cried the weimeraner.
"Me, ba-BAY." said Toboggan.
"You've got to be kidding me." she said, obviously unimpressed.
"Nope. You're lucky day, right??" said Toboggan.
"Um..." she started to say, but was cut off by the genie.
"Ok, this is getting lame. Cory has to get back to work. Make your last wish already."
Toboggan looked at himself, looked at the weimeraner, and knew in a second the only other thing he wanted.
"We need a sweet place to call home. Make it happen, genie."
and POOF!
There they were, in the front yard of a little house.
"Wow!" said the weimeraner.
Calee walked out of the house.
"Aww! Puppies!"
Tucker, always wanting new friends, came running out.
"Hey guys! Come in! Want to play? Want to run around? Can I eat your ears? Can I lick your face? Can you play for a long time? Can you play forever? Want to live here? Want to sleep in a pile later? Huh? Want to? Want to??"
Corbee* came around from the back, covered in leaves and dirt from working in the yard.
"That poodle is ugly. And it has a dumb name. The weimeraner can stay, though."
Calee frowned.
"Poor puppy. He DOES have a dumb name. Let's rename him."
So they called him Lucky.
And they all lived happily ever after.

That's all.

*name has been changed.

Have a good day!


Kristina said...

You only changed Corbee's name once. But left it the other time. Awkward.

Calee said...

Haha yeah...I realized that. My bad.

Corbee said...

I seriously laughed hard when I read this. Very impressive. You even punctuated it well on the fly. You should go into the business of cheering people up with random dog stories. Very lucrative I hear.

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