Literally on Cloud 9

I am about to write another post that gives you all a complex. Sorry. I was going to link to my previous posts that have done the same thing, but I didn't want to go overboard with the guilt.

(Sidenote: Calee and I talked about the possiblity of blogging this, and I asked if I should be worried about people getting a complex about it. She said no but I should be worried about looking like a B. ....Hm. My mind didn't even go there. Don't judge, people. It's all in good fun. Fun = mocking your habits that you're unaware of. Didn't you know that?)

Oh my goodness. I wanted to post a funny video right here to show what I'm talking about, but it just proved my flipping point for me. I put "literally" into youtube hoping for a silly snl or madtv skit about the ridiculous overuse of the word - and there came up about a MILLION listings. How many of them used the word correctly? Not many. 

Which brings me to my next point. 

I CAN'T HANDLE WHEN PEOPLE SAY LITERALLY WHEN THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T MEAN LITERALLY. I just really can't. It makes me twitch. I told Calee about it a month or so ago and she just rolled her eyes and told me I was elitest and that it doesn't happen that often. But now that she's aware of it?? We hear it all the time together and she laughs at me while I fall into convulsions on the floor because my brain can't take it anymore. Literally. (See what I'm saying? It's annoying right?)

Some recent ones I've heard -

On the news: We are literally moving heaven and earth down here to find out...

Oh really? Literally moving heaven and earth? Wow. That must be some pretty intense equipment down there.

In an email: She was literally on cloud 9 after...

I sent this one to Calee and her response was, "Maybe she was standing atop a Cloud9 shuttle after the lesson? Literally."

Oh, Calee. You are a B, too.

Calee in the car (this one was a joke but still annoying): I was literally dancing up a storm.

She then laughed and pictured herself dancing and a storm being created. However if you were literally dancing up a storm, you would be moving vertically while boogying into the storm's abyss. That is literally dancing up a storm.

I can't even give you more examples because I am getting so cranky right now thinking about it. I've decided I'm going to start saying "metaphorically" or "figuratively" all the time. Just so people realize there are other adverbs out there that can be used in a more appropriate manner. Or hey, maybe you just don't say an adverb? Weird.

I'm going to go eat some chocolate or something to help with my frustration.

-Kristina

P.s. Who honestly doesn't like chocolate? I owe somebody brownies and asked if I could make these divine chocolate cupcakes instead with my mom's mouth-watering frosting. The answer? "Eh. I don't really like chocolate. Only milky ways and three musketeers and brownies. I don't know, I guess when I'm craving something sweet I want like a really good orange or something."

... WOW, really??? I can't even process that statement. It's like the Brian Regan sketch where he's reading the pop tart label and it tells him to place it vertically into the toaster and his brain explodes from the difficulty of it. That's how I felt. There must have been some kind of brainwashing involved during childhood; it's the only explanation I can think of. It's a sick, sick world we live in, people. Go hug your chocolate.