Saturday, July 11, 2009

Just a little update...

I haven't blogged in forever it feels like...and I'm sitting at work trying to find reasons to not leave early - so here's a little update for anyone who wanted to know:

I'm still working at Ventana (an apartment complex in RB). I'm still taking classes through Ashford (yay for education!). I still have Tucker. I still have my truck. I still go to Palomar singles ward (someday I'll graduate. even if it takes me another 6 years...). I still want to go to England again - but the visa situation with the UK hasn't changed yet (fingers crossed...). I'm still in love with a boy who doesn't want to date me anymore. TMI? Oh well. I may or may not cry about it. A lot. I'm working on it.

I want to send a shout out to all my married friends who may take their spouses for granted. Be so happy that you're out of the dating game. It sucks so bad sometimes. Scratch that - most of the time. So, be thankful for your husband or wife...because even if he leaves the toilet seat up, or if she doesn't clean up as frequently as you'd like, or if he leaves his stinky socks on your bedroom floor, or if she whines about feeling pudgy and still eats that last still have him or her. And you know they love you. And you don't have to feel rejected if someone doesn't call after that first date, or feel nervous about never finding someone, or feel depressed about being alone. Or feel even MORE depressed about having perfectly wonderful people wanting to date you and being infuriatingly unable to get rid of feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same. Go give your spouse kiss, and feel lucky. And put the brownie down.

I think I haven't been blogging because I don't want to burden my fellow bloggers with the less-than-cheerful thoughts clattering around in me. But... I feel a little bit better now than I did when I started typing. And it's 5. And I didn't leave early. And I'm not crying. This is a win in my book.

Thanks for listening.


Sarah said...

Oh Calee! I heart you! My heart goes out to you, too.
Bryan was in love with a girl and couldn't get over her -no matter how much he wanted to- for years. Like, YEARS. And then one day, he realized they were so not a good match. No matter how awesome they were as individuals, together they would have been kind of a huge disaster. Just like that, a light switch went off in his life, and he got over her. He describes it as "she was my Moby Dick. I was in love with the idea of her, not her".
This may be too much TMI too, but I hope it helps give you a little perspective. And I have SOOOOO been where you are! I dated this guy that I KNEW I was going to marry (didn't; what a shocker), but he obviously thought it was more fun to string me along and then dump my butt unexpectedly. And it hurt like... well, I don't think I need to explain how much! You're probably in that stage right now. But even though it hurt, I learned from it (as well as the other numerous failed relationships), and it helped me know more specifically what I wanted in a husband. And more importantly, who I should be as a wife. Totally cheesy, but it's a true story.
It's okay to hurt, and to get it all out. Otherwise, you would end up a sorry old lady with 10 cats and a smelly old house! But I reeeeally don't see you going in that direction! You are strong, talented, beautiful, smart, and from a guys point of view, that is pretty darn intimidating. You're gonna catch a winner! Just let the Lord do it in His own timing.:)

Paul O. said...

You're way too rad. And you give the best hugs.

Remember the original 1971 "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory"?

Cheer up Charliiiiieeee...?

I changed it to "Cheer up Caleeeee"

Erin Hoy said...

Wow - That was super depressing... So my solution (only a temporary solution - sorry) is to have lunch with ME! BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I'm sorry that that stinky boy is still being lame. He will regret it one day, which is unfortunate. CALL/TEXT me a good day to do lunch.

SuperScott597 said...

I know in part how you feel. At least you dated your dream boy. My dream girl won't give me a chance.

Rachel said...

This is what a blog is for. Bare that beautiful soul:) I know that single life is hard. Being taken for granted and having your feelings ground into dust isn't fun. But, "this to shall pass." You are doing the right thing by writing about it. How can you gain support if no one really knows what is going on? Have a good cry (or three or four), pick yourself up and begin to heal. I love you girl. Oh, thanks for the brownie comment. I did put it down:)

Kate Challis said...

I am Kristina's old RA from college, so you probably have no idea who I am. I remember being single, and I wholeheartedly agree with you. You know what helped me sometimes was to make really REALLY sappy playlists. I was writing a missionary, and it sucked majorly. Dating was infuriating because no matter what I would always compare everybody to him, probably similar to the way you might feel. I made a lot of playlists and cried a lot. Also, I spent a LOT of time with my girl friends. We watched lots of movies and ate lots of icecream and had pretend seances in the kitchen of my friend's apartment. Someday relatively soon it will all be over, and you'll find yourself reading other peoples' blog posts and giving them sage words of wisdom. I don't want to give you advice, per se, but just let you know that I agree, it sucks, and I feel for you (even though I don't know you).

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