Friday, October 30, 2009

Post Tramautic Stress Disorder

That's the name of my playlist I made the other day. I thought it was quite fitting. I'm still accepting contributions, so feel free to suggest. It's already helped a ton - there as been a lot of dancing and singing wrong words very loudly in my car this week. Ha ha. Love it.

I'm feeling really under-the-weather and I'm not at work today. Something about being sanitary and not spreading germs or something. LAME. So I have time to blog. But my brain is fuzzy so I don't have much to blog about. 

Let's just go with this - Dating is hard. Especially after you've felt what it's like to just be with somebody and feel grateful you don't have to date anymore. And then get thrown back in? It blooows. I used to be such a gamer! I could flirt with the best of them. I'm so not that way anymore!! I think I'm a little too honest and open. You're supposed to be all sly and closed and keep 'em guessing. Totally not me. 

Nikki's blog has all these little happy married women talking about sex and how hard it is to keep your husband happy and have those moments of emotional connection. Guess what, people? At least it's an option for you! I think they should all step back a minute and be so grateful that at the end of the day, their best friend is in their bed with them. And they don't have to sit and look at a text message and try to figure out what it really means, or if you're being too forward for texting back too quickly, or heaven knows whatever other dating rules there are. I don't even know the rules. So stupid.

I am a rules-less dater. If you can't hang with that - move along, my friends.

Also - I'd like to apologize for all of the poor boys who ever got caught up in the dating net of pre-Jan Kristina. I was such a playing, gaming, silly, nightmare. And I am feeling your pain right now. Everyone that gets post-Jan Kristina? Maybe you should send him a thank you note. He has made your kristina-dating-experiences much more pleasant, with much fewer headaches.

Which reminds me. I have a killer headache right now. I'm going back to bed. 


P.s. I'm coming back to Utah to play next weekend. Call me and we'll make plans. Or am I not supposed to say that? I'm supposed to just hint slightly and tease with a little winky face like this ;). 

Oh puh-lease.


rebecca said...

haha. i love the comment about nikki's latest post. i'm with you there! come on ladies! you don't have to live this awful single life... especially after being in a serious relationship. cause man i know that feeling and it sucks.

(my family is in nikki's ward so naturally i read her blog... and yours... and your sister's. and i love them all!)

Amber Irene said...

Oh Rae-
I love you! I can't wait to play tonight!! WOOT and nerd shopping! You're the best!!!


Nikki Nielsen said...

you're hilarious!! hang in there. :)

we will be at the nielsen's home ward this sunday with Emmy which i hear you now attend...maybe see you there?

Arica said...

kristina, i get the impression that you feel as if once you're married off, emotional pain is a lot less taxing than it is when you're single. that painful relationship problems somehow stop occurring and your heart deals with less trauma. i can only tell you from personal experience that that is not the case. and although what these women seem to be going through on nikki's blog is not a painful and 'lonely' experience, it is difficult none the less.

trust me, i KNOW what you're going through. your relationship almost MIRRORS that of mine with my missionary. 3 years were invested, and i didn't even get money back in the end.. just heartache. so don't get me wrong, what you're going through is definitely painful and i know that having a man you love being with you each day seems to be the answer, but it doesn't solve the fact that life is still a test, and it can still be just as hard when you're married. i think it's important to keep the perspective that the problems within a marriage are just as hard, and hurtful, and sometimes lonely. i may be alone in this feeling. either way, i'm sure that those women who are complaining about their seemingly silly struggles, are no less aching than you are.. they're just different scenarios. sure, they have men.. but we are all on different walks of life, and no matter what part your on... it doesn't necessarily get any easier than the one before. i know from experience.

sorry if this seems preachy, it was not intended to be so, i just think that sometimes we get in a certain mindset and it's valuable to hear different opinions. (:

i love ya kristina, and i know your heart hurts.. and i KNOW dating is a pain in the butt.. and i wish you could find what you're looking for, but in the meantime, enjoy the journey. (:

ps. the aly & aj version of 'walking on sunshine' ALWAYS makes me happy.. brightens my day for sure!

Francesca said...

I echo Arica. Marriage comes with its own set of problems that make you wish you were single again. But I also agree with you that we married women often forget the blessings as well. The best thing to do is to enjoy the perks of dating and then enjoy the perks of marriage.

Lissy said...

Arica is so eloquent, isn't she? Very well put! It's hard to hear other people talk about struggles when their life may seem like just what you want, but you don't really know what they're going through unless you're in their shoes. I think it's awesome that you are open and yourself and not playing games in dating. You want to find a companion for yourself not some false persona. You are so beautiful and so fun, just hang in there! You will have a whole new set of struggles to work though when you've found your man so just keep being yourself and loving it! :)

Anonymous said...

Arica is so right.

Lyrax said...

You're jealous. This is what jealousy feels like. It's not evil to feel a little jealous, after all these are people who have something you want for yourself - a marriage. And that's not a bad desire.

What are some of your blessings? You have lots of them. Do you think that perhaps it would help you feel better about your situation if you talked a bit about those instead?

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