This post is not happy.

I've been a bit under the weather for a few weeks now. Noooo fun. Nothing too intense, just a headache that doesn't stop for more than a couple hours at a time, congestion, sore throat here and there, a couple fevers - the basic 'weather is getting colder so Calee feels like crud' yearly happening. (seriously, happens every year...the good news is I'm pretty sure I've qualified to SKIP my Thanksgiving flu tradition based on this last week alone...)

So here's a happy story about me being sick:

Ok, wait. That's a lie. It's not happy. I'm just sick and cranky and thought I'd blog about it to vent a little. Moving on.

Thursday night my throat got sore.
Friday morning I felt like I had something stuck in my throat. Liiike a needle. Or a sharp pointy rock. Or maybe a tiny demon munching away back there. Who knows. I called the doctor to see if I could get in to see him (which takes FOREVER already, heaven help us if Obama gets his health care wishes...) ANYWAYS. I told them my throat had been bleeding a little that morning after I poked it with my finger to see if I could locate the exact place where the pain was coming from. Yes, I did say it was bleeding. Gross, huh? Painful, too.

So I go in, talk to the doc. He does a strep test, although I've had strep before and it doesn't feel like strep to me. He says I have blisters on the back of my throat (joy) and that he's pretty sure they're cold sores. (by the way...how the HECK do I have COLD SORES on my THROAT when I've NEVER even had one on my LIP BEFORE?! WHOOOO KNOWS. Just lucky, I guess.)

Then he comes back a couple minutes later and says that in addition to the blisters on my throat, I have strep throat as well. WOW. So he gives me a prescription for penicillin, tells me to try to get some sleep, and sends me on my merry way.

Fast forward to Monday (today). Wake up in the middle of the night because the pain in my throat is so intense I can't sleep anymore. I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer from the amount of ibuprofen, Tylenol, etc...that I've taken over the last few days. Wait til 8AM. Call the doctor. Wait on hold for 30 minutes (<--not an exaggeration. I checked the call timer. Ridiculous.) Talked to a nurse. I felt like I was in a Brian Regan skit - 'How would you rate your pain?'...

When she asked me if I could touch my chin to my chest, I tried. I could do it on Friday when they asked, even though it really hurt. Today, however, no dice. Tried again. Thought I was going to pass out. She kept asking me if I was doing it yet - and why I couldn't do it after I tried the third time. I don't KNOW, lady!!! IT's JUST NOT WORKING!! Holy beans, people, can I JUST SEE A DOCTOR ALREADY?! Flip.

'My opinion is that you see the doctor today,' said the nurse.

I WANTED to yell: 'REALLY, LADY?? REALLY?! WHO ARE YOU. JUST TELL ME WHEN TO COME IN ALREADY.' -deep breath- I was so frustrated that I may or may not have started crying. AAAH hahaha oooh my gosh. This morning is NOT my morning.

Whew. Sooo now I have an appointment to see a nurse this afternoon - because, apparently, my swollen, blistered, bleeding throat doesn't merit a meeting with my actual DOCTOR.

Brilliant.

Thank you, Kaiser. Thank you.