I did it.

I did what I've been trying to do for a year. A year! I did it. I'm moving home in a few weeks and starting school the end of this month. I feel numb and empty and a little nauseous but much more calm than I ever thought I would. Maybe it's because I'm just completely shutting down. Or maybe it's because it's the right thing to do.

I said no to the job. The great job that was offered to me. I told them no, and I'm scared that I made a mistake, but I'm just going one day at a time and not worrying anymore. No more planning for me. No more plans means no more broken plans which means no more broken hearts or broken spirits.

I just need to get all of my school stuff in order, my tuition paid for somehow, and pack up all my things. And not have a breakdown. And definitely not look back.

Because there's really nothing to look back at.