Unconventional Airconditioning

I sing.

Sometimes I sing for church events - like stake conference.

Sometimes before I sing for stake conference, I have to go to the bathroom and (on occasion) I get my underpants stuck in the zipper of my skirt.

In the rare event that this is the case, I may or may not tug vigorously at said zipper until it makes a weird metallic grinding sound and I simply decide to pull the skirt UP instead of down (sorry for how graphic this is - these details are, unfortunately, necessary).

When this happens, I am probably already late (how do I know? well, mostly because I'm late to most things in my life).

*anyways*

Sometimes when I'm late, I rush into meetings without properly addressing whatever weird metallic sounds were coming from my skirt zipper.

And sometimes, when I get home after standing up and singing for a full stake conference congregation in front of me, and high counsellors/stake presidents/area authorities sitting directly behind me, I realize that things are a bit drafty in my booty-area...



And sometimes I make Kristina cry with laughter as I ask her (in horror) to check the back of my skirt...and realize that I broke the zipper on my skirt before the meeting....and a good 3.5 inches of my sweet, white bum was flashing the whole time...



The whole time...?? The WHOLE time?! THE.WHOLE.TIME.

Lovely.